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One of Brian’s Favorite Quotes

People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are.  I don’t believe in circumstances.  The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.”
— George Bernard Shaw (1856–1950)
 Mrs. Warren’s Profession (1893) Act II

Jon Stewart on Chris Christie’s scandal: ‘You can see Paul Ryan’s b*ner from space’

Jon Stewart 010814 [YouTube]

Jon Stewart doesn’t just host the Daily Show, he’s his own “Senior New Jersey Correspondent,” which placed him in the perfect position on Wednesday to express his disappointment over the suspicious bridge lane closures linked to members of Gov. Chris Christie’s (R) administration.

“Political payback through traffic congestion?” Stewart said disgustedly. “To see New Jersey sink to such a pi*s-poor third-rate quality of corruption. This is New Jersey. A state renowned

for its pi*s-rich, first-rate quality of corruption.”

Stewart did give credit to Christie for his attempt to squelch the issue in December by saying he was “working the cones” on the George Washington Bridge at the time.

“That is a level of d*ckishness and sarcasm befitting our great state,” Stewart said. “It’s how I used to handle any accusation of wrongdoing at home as well: ‘Yeah, Mom, I was totally smoking pot. I’m a drug fiend, and me and my friends just smoked a whole bag of weed, yeah, and now we sell it to other people — that’s what we do.’”

But the situation, Stewart argued, was a far cry from the 1970s, when the state was where the Federal Bureau of Investigation went when it wanted to entrap lawmakers using a “fake sheikh,” referring to the “Abscam” investigation. Stewart also boasted about the state being the setting for Boardwalk Empire and The Sopranos, fictionalized stories about corruption set decades apart.

So hearing that members of the administration orchestrated the traffic jams that ensnared Fort Lee via email got Stewart’s goat.

“You ought to be ashamed of yourselves,” Stewart chided. “You’re an embarassment to dialogue.”

Stewart then acted out how he thought the discussion should have gone:

“Hey, did you take care of that thing?”
“Yeah, that thing? I took care of that thing. Yeah, our good friend Lee? Yeah, he’s constipated, alright.”

But even if the burgeoning investigation threatens Christie’s presidential aspirations, Stewart observed, it was boosting another Republican’s spirits.

“You can probably now see Paul Ryan’s b*ner from space,” he said.

Watch Stewart take on the Christie controversy, as posted online on Wednesday, below.

Arturo Garcia


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