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One of Brian’s Favorite Quotes

If I can’t dance, it’s not my revolution.”
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Report: 80% Of All Traffic Accidents Caused By Drivers Gawking At Shirtless Hunks

WASHINGTON—Signaling an alarming and dangerous trend for the nation’s motorists, the U.S. Department of Transportation released a report Friday revealing that four out of five traffic accidents are caused by drivers taking their eyes off the road to ogle shirtless hunks.The report confirmed that in 2013, more than 7 million passenger cars and light trucks were involved in minor collisions, rollovers, and multi-vehicle accidents that resulted from drivers who were distracted by checking out the

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Oklahoma: Show Your Support for Hunting in Lexington

The Lexington City Council will meet next Tuesday, November 4, at 7:00 p.m. in the Luther Dean Memorial Council Chambers of Lexington City Hall at 111 East Broadway Street. After discussion of a hunting ban at its last two meetings, as reported here, the City Council proposed to vote on a hunting ban within the Lexington city limits on November 4.  At this time, this issue is not on the agenda for November 4.

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Grassroots Alert: Vol. 21, No. 43 10/31/2014

NRA Friends,The future of our Second Amendment rights comes down to one day— Election Day—Tuesday, November 4.Tuesday’s elections are the most important of our lifetime. Our fundamental right to keep and bear arms has never been in greater jeopardy. This election cycle, we face the best organized and most well-funded attack on our freedom since our forefathers put pen to paper to ensure our Second Amendment rights.As a Second Amendment supporter, you

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Fourth-Graders Differ Over How Much Allergic Classmate’s Face Swelled Up

SAN JOSE, CA—With estimates ranging from “two marshmallows smushed together” to “the size of a basketball,” fourth-graders at Greystone Elementary differed in opinion over how much their allergic classmate’s face swelled up during recess, sources said Friday. “Caleb said Eric’s face puffed up like a bag of microwave popcorn, but it wasn’t even half that size,” said 9-year-old Dillon Porter, adding that multiple reports of the inflammation being purple and oozing were also inaccurate. “And

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Single Mom Ready To Get Back Out There During 30 Minutes Per Week She’s Not Working Or Watching Daughter

TACOMA, WA—Saying she’s ready to have some fun and meet somebody new, local single mother Denise Tripp told reporters Friday she hopes to get back out there and start dating again during the half hour or so each week when she’s not busy working or raising her 8-year-old daughter. “It will be wonderful getting to know someone in the few moments I have while walking back to the house in the morning after I drop

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Alabama: Protect Our Hunting Heritage — Vote YES on Amendment 5 on Tuesday

Tuesday, November 4 is Election Day and the NRA is encouraging all Alabamians to vote YES on Amendment 5, the state constitutional amendment declaring and protecting an individual right to hunt, fish and harvest wildlife.  By enshrining this state constitutional right, Alabama would keep the existing fishing and hunting structure in place while protecting future generations of sportsmen from attacks initiated by well-funded anti-hunting extremists. Sportsmen in Alabama won an important victory earlier this

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Alabama Boosters Under Fire After Paying For Nick Saban’s s*x Change

TUSCALOOSA, AL—Drawing widespread condemnation from fans and pundits alike, boosters from the University of Alabama Crimson Tide Foundation are facing heavy criticism after it was revealed Friday that the organization fully funded head football coach Nick Saban’s s*x reassignment surgery. “We’re willing to do whatever it takes to keep Coach Saban at Alabama, including covering costs for orchiectomy and penectomy procedures, breast augmentation, and monthly doctor visits throughout the transition process,” said Crimson Tide Foundation

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Sportsgraphic: Fantasy Football Week 9: Start ’Em, Sit ’Em

Onion Sports has expert analysis on which players to keep and which players to drop from your fantasy football starting lineup this week:Start ’EmAndrew Luck (QB): Luck is unlikely to be fooled by Giants players’ attempts to disguise themselves as a defenseZac Stacy (RB): The Rams running back is determined to show the NFL what he’s made of as he remains completely unaware the trade deadline passed on TuesdayJoe Flacco (QB): The Ravens quarterback has

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